i D O N ' T have to live under fear...

i am reading a book by Joyce Meyer, to me personally she is one of the best Bible teachers that i have heard. she speaks biblical truths and speaks them with conviction and great passion. the book that i am reading is a short book that is 73 pages long but it is filled with so much wonderful information about combating dread and fear. the book is entitled, "Don't Dread" i would like to copy from her book powerful words from pages 64 and 65.

when you get up in the morning, begin the day with an attitude of faith. set your mind for victory. an attitude of dread says, "i cannot enjoy my life while doing some of the things i need to do today. i really wish i didn't have to do them." an attitude of faith says:

when Christ died on the cross, I died with Him. i am legally and positionally dead to evil desires including fear and dread. fear does not come from God. i don't have to live under fear, so i consider myself dead to those things. i am dead to living in fear. fear and dread will not come and have a relationship with me today because i have the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead living inside me to fight them. i am not going to accept what the devil is trying to put on me. i will not regret the past and dread the future, i will not fear. i put my trust and confidence in God and joyfully expect good to happen today, because Jesus came that i might have and enjoy life in abundance. in Jesus' name.

God worked and worked with me to keep me living in the now. i made a decision not to lose today any more. i'm going to live and enjoy today and enjoy my entire life. what about you?

H I S presence is truly near...

i guess going through a period of time in which you don't write in your blog creates a problem in keeping people reading. that seems to have happen with me. i suppose i can understand that since people can loose interest and yet there remains a drive in me to keep writing even if it is for the sole purpose of getting my thoughts out on paper so to speak. i must admit my thoughts obviously have not flowed as easily as they had been for some time. going through different things in your life i suppose can stop the flow of words and cause one to have a dry spot for a period of time or perhaps that is considered writers block, although i really don't consider myself to be much of a writer just one who writes down her thoughts hoping that somehow they will touch someone else. so, i suppose if one or two read this they were the ones that were meant to read and hopefully they are led to enjoy that which they have read.

i find myself, the older that i become disliking very much so being alone. i realize that as a Christian we are never really alone but, i find great satisfaction in having companionship, and the presence of another human being around. there was a time in my life when i didn't mind the time alone, most likely when my kids were young and i longed for the peace and quiet being alone would bring. but, like i said the older i am becoming the more i do not enjoy being alone. i must admit however one of the places that i do not mind it so much is when i am driving. that may be strange, but it is there that i often gather my thoughts. many i know do not have a choice but to spend time alone and many of you don't mind but, i am sure there are those of you who don't particularly care to spend time often feeling as though the only companion that you share is a dog or cat. yet, i can't help but believe that if this is the case God brings an extra amount of comfort and peace to you as you experience this time. you may wonder why i am spending time writing about this subject...i too am wondering just a bit. however, it is something that i have been thinking about lately and felt i would share my feelings regarding this subject and thought that just maybe it would strike a chord with someone reading. one thing that i have mentioned several times through out this post is that God is always with us. i am sure He fills in the gap when we are alone if we let Him, and reach for His special presence. God of course cannot make us reach out and touch the lovely experience of knowing that He is near, none the less He is. i think of the verse in scripture that says that God will never leave us or forsake us. so, if we tap into the full knowledge that He truly is in our presence perhaps it will lift or lighten the feeling of being alone. i say these things with obvious pointed fingers at myself because i am the one that has chosen to write such a post in my blog about hating the experience of being alone. when we look at it in all honesty we as believers in Christ Jesus are never truly alone, but we must reach out in faith and believe with our hearts that although we cannot see God He is there ready to fill our hearts with gladness and ultimate togetherness, if we but, reach out in faith and believe His presence is truly near.

this M O M E N T in time...

this morning is such a beautiful morning. to think that each day that God gives is a gift. the sun is shinning so beautifully and what a morning to write down my thoughts. it seems at times the thoughts that fill my soul are so many but to get them out to write has lately been difficult but, this morning should be a morning in which the thoughts should flow. the beautiful colors of the tree leaves are beginning to show. when the sun hits the leaves they look as if they glow....how beautiful God has made this time of year. i love the radiance of color. how deep and vibrant they are. reds, golds,some still green which adds variety, and the awesome color of orange. we have been getting a warm-up in temperature, but for me i love the crispness in the air, it seems to fit the season much better. you may feel differently and the 80 degree weather might be your cup of tea, but as for me it doesn't feel like fall when it gets too warm. well, today i have talked about the beautiful morning, the beautiful colors of fall,which is my favorite season of all. and yes believe it or not, i love winter but, that's a subject for a different post. something that i have heard lately is to live in the NOW. i want to learn this. live today, right now, enjoy the beauty of the earth now, that's what we've been given. like i said, this is something that i am learning. so, today dear Lord help me to soak in the beauty of this day, this moment in time that you have blessed me with. 

far beyond any C O M P R E H E N S I O N

great is the Lord and greatly to be praised. when i think about the faithfulness and the mercy of God my heart is filled with such gladness and joy. many times i have mentioned that God is a God of mercy, grace and love and praise His name because He is. i will never be able to comprehend how a King could reach down with so much love and touch my life in a way such as He has. to think of His mercy, and grace that forgives all of my sins even though i do not deserve it. to think that such a God of greatness would want a relationship with me, would want to spend time with me, would want to be my friend is beyond all of the words that i could ever think of writing to describe and express how it stirs my soul. have you ever really stopped and thought deeply about how much He loves us? how much He shows us mercy and grace each and every day? and how wonderful it is to know that He longs to spend time with us as friends? all of this is far beyond my comprehension, but he does not ask that we understand, He asks and wants us just to receive. it is so awesome to know that we can find a resting place under the shadow of His wings, to know that He has us covered and to know that He loves us far beyond anything that we could ever ask or think.

finally have written again...

i haven't written in my blog for quite a few days and i suppose it is because i have not been able to write the words to convey just what it is that i have wished to communicate. but, now it seems as if i have just a bit to write about, and although it may end up being short, none the less it will be transparent and come from my heart.

have you ever prepared something that you wanted or felt needed to be shared and you had a preconceived idea about the response that you would receive? i'm sure many of us have. this has proven to be the case for me countless times. it could be because i so often rely heavily on my feelings and emotions and honestly should not. in doing so i believe i set myself up for a let down, a hurt, or many times something that leans towards negativity. so, something that i am trying so desperately to learn is not to write or say something with any type of thought on how the outcome will be...it's usually not what you expect. it's best just to get it out there if it needs to be said, and if you believe it is of great importance that it is communicated let the cards fall where they may. so, this is what is on my heart. i have chosen to write this and will use my blog as a way of conveying transparancy, thus the reason for the title of my blog.

live O N E day at a time...

live in the NOW! this is something i deal with daily. i don't have yesterday...it is gone so when satan tries to throw regret my way and attempts to make me live in guilt, i must turn my attention towards God and say, "i will live in the Now." since i am not guaranteed tomorrow, filling my mind full of "what ifs" is useless, worrying about tomorrow is useless. but, if i take one day at a time this will give me freedom, freedom from so many things, things that can cloud my mind, and fog up my view. i have today, you have today. a question i must ask myself is: what am i going to do with it? how am i going to live it? will i live it to it's fullest? will you? will i allow God to fill me and flow through me living this day, this precious day that God has so lovingly given to me? Lord, help me to live this day, yes live this one day...help me to live one day at a time.

The Story Of Your Life/Matthew West
i love this song and wanted to share it
http://youtu.be/DR7KfFfse3k

Thank you my f r i e n d...

in my life there seems to be a breakthrough right around the corner. knowing that the prayers of other saints in Christ have been going up to the throne of grace and realizing that other people really do care has touched me immensely and i have seen results. living the life of a Christian can be challenging but i am beginning to see more and more that the blessings far out weigh the times of difficulties, it's all in the perspective and what i choose to concentrate on. i can set my sights on earthly things or on things above. i can choose to think positive thoughts or thoughts that are negative and work against the things of God. i desire with ever ounce of me to choose to think on positive and Godly things. many times God brings people into our lives to help open our eyes and He gives them wisdom and puts words in their hearts to bring us to the place of thinking more on the positive things of God and to know that we can have a breakthrough and do not have to be be down trodden and filled with  anxious thoughts all of the time. God is a God of  joyfulness, a God who wishes for our joy to be overflowing and to the point of running over. not allowing this to happen is a way of listening to the lies of satan and also allowing him to have too much control over areas in my life in which God should reign. so, because of this friend speaking boldly to me, it has helped open my eyes and for this i would like to express thankfulness. it's amazing how God can use other people to say and do things that turn out to be living examples of what Christ wants us to hear. to this friend i say, "thank you."

at this point we can only i m a g i n e...

i listen to the birds, chirping and singing and each and every time it reminds me of the wonders of creation. around where we live there seems to be a great assortment of many types of birds, which i love. what is it about their noises that creates such an alluring attraction to me? well, i believe it is because they remind me of the wonderful creation of God as does so many other beautiful things about nature. but, it also brings to mind the verse in scripture that talks about the fact that the beauty on this earth, is in no way comparable to the beauty that has been prepared in heaven for those who are believers in Christ and have a personal relationship with Him. our human eyes can only imagine what it will be like, but even our mortal eyes imagining will never come close to what beauty awaits us. i am a nature lover. so, the thought of heaven being a destination in which the beauty of heaven is incomprehensible to me as a human....fills my heart with so much joy. as you soak in the beauty of this earth and yes it is all around us, don't miss out on it's wonders, but at the same time perhaps it will bring to mind the beauty that God has prepared for us that at this point in time we can only imagine. 



with G O D as my stength i can do all things

 i never thought that i would do this on my blog. but, it is called "transparent thoughts" so, i suppose i'm not too far off in left field for going to where i am going to go. i have always been under the impression that God uses the weak of this world, those who are driven to their knees, those who live with scars to influence those who need Christ. i suppose it's two fold though. God does not want to just use the weak, but, He wants the weak to be an example of how one can be weak then made strong through Christ Jesus. there are words like restore, revive, refines, repent in the Bible. i have been told that i am weak. that there are still things that i am afraid of, that at this point in time should be over. that i need to grab a hold of myself so that i can be a great example to my children, on how Christianity can make a person strong, and i have not done this. most of this is true. so, as you see most of this is transparency. i know i have never once put myself on display or even have projected myself as one who could be used as an example of what Christ is like. i try to daily stay in His Word and i am striving to reach that goal, i am striving to become more like Christ. but, i fail miserably, and it seems i fail more than i succeed. maybe this is all coming across as a pity party, and you may be thinking, why in the world would she write an entire post on how much she fails. well, to begin with this is my first and quite possibly my last post such as this. however, this is supposed to be transparent, this lies heavy on my heart, and i felt so compelled to share it. joy is one of the most powerful weapons we have against satan, and a big question enters my mind, why don't I get some joy, and quit talking so negative. in my heart of hearts at this moment i feel quite "joyless" so i suppose i am opening myself up to satan to steal my joy. obviously, that's the case so i should cling to joy because it is a great source of strength that God has given to interrupt satan's plan. if i allow him to destroy me, i am useless for the Kingdom, i loose my strength and i allow satan to walk all over me. however, i need to remember that the joy of the Lord is my strength & I can do all things through Christ who is my strength. through joy, i can receive strength to do things that would other wise be impossible. what is amazing is that there is nothing that satan can do to stop me when my heart is full of joy. now, maybe i've been all over the map today with this post, and i suppose that's OK. i was taking the time to just jot down the thoughts that were on my heart and in my mind. hopefully something that i said will ring true to you, for that is my one and only goal.

Strong Enough/Matthew West

http://youtu.be/A8JsRxVczmQ

a c l e a n s h e e t of paper...

what will i write on the page of my life today? will i fill it full of wonderful things, fill it full of blessings, gladness, joy, happiness, laughter, smiles, positive thoughts, fill it full of rising up against satan and claiming the power from God on high? write on it, the fact that i am supernatural through the blood of Christ, and proclaim that i am a Christ follower? fill it with the fact that i am anointed, and that through prayer my faith is unleashed and that with Him there is nothing that i can not overcome? that fear has no hold on me? and that i need to set my sight on things above?

every day each one of us are given a clean sheet of paper. we all have a quill with which to write. what will we write? how will we fill up our page? God grants us a fresh day. a brand new day. i pray that i will choose wisely, that i will fill my page full of things that will be positive, things that will make fond memories, things that will prove to bring joy and happiness to those around me. i know that the choice is ours to make. may i make wise decisions as i write on this clean sheet that God has given to me.
The Story Of Your Life/Matthew West
http://youtu.be/DR7KfFfse3k

through H I S power become a healer...

God loves to use people for His glory, for His service. He loves to minister to those who have been hurt or wounded, but then healed because nobody can minister to someone else better than a person who has had the same problem or has been in the same situation as the person he or she is trying to help. God is the great healer. Yet He can take a person who has hit rock bottom, one who has experienced abuse at the hands of another, etc. and turn that person into someone that can be used for His glory. Don't hide your scars. Ask God to heal you everywhere you hurt....to the deepest part of your soul and being, so that He can use you to help others. Ask Him to make you a person that is healed so that you may through His power become a healer.

The Healing Has Begun

http://youtu.be/Whb-XSOog8k

H E is greater...

it seems as if it has been forever since i have written in my blog. so much has been happening, so many things that without Christ, i would not be able to make it. i have often wondered how people that do not know Christ face each day and make it through that day. i can't even imagine a life without my Savior. He gives me strength when i have none, as i have said before my main reason for starting this blog was to record transparent thoughts, things that go on in my life, and ways in which God is teaching me through Himself, and sometimes those times of learning are not the most comfortable and yet i know how important they are to help me to become more like Him every day. a verse that many people know but, one that came to my mind this morning can be found in John 4:4 "Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world." all of the junk that this world and satan tries to throw at me cannot penetrate my entire being unless i pull myself from the will of God and place myself under the care of me...just me. we can never make it on our own, we need the precious Lamb of God to guide us, direct us, go before us, carry us, and fight the battles of satan, for we are no match for the evil one, but praise God He is. one of my uncles recently sent me a wonderful email that had a picture of a bird with two baby birds under each wing, safe secure, and protected. to me this depicted what Jesus Christ does for us, when we call upon His name and run to Him. He gives us a place of peace, security and protection. as i said earlier, "I can't make it on my own." i must look to God and so must you. often i have tried to tackle things believing i can handle it all, acting as if i don't need Christ and attempting to do it alone and you know what? i fail miserably. God is needed for us to make it through each day that He gives us breath to breathe. God will see us through. He hems us in from behind and before. and just like the bird that protects it's young under it's wings, the protection of God is much the same. believing in our hearts that God is greater than anything, that He knows our needs even before we speak them. the thought that He loves me more than anything brings such comfort to my soul. God is greater than anything because it is true that Greater is He that is in me, than He that is in the world.

the following is a song that ministered to my heart this morning, if you listen to it maybe it will bless you as well.

Because Of Your Love/Phil Wickham

http://youtu.be/M8d0Nh_CXKw

walking with H I M from day to day...

something that i must remember and learn is to let go and let God. like taking a plunge into the ocean, knowing and believing with all of my heart that God will be there to catch me. it is so easy to trust God when things are going well. but when things are not going well, that's when our faith is tested. guess what? yes, you guessed right...i fail that test often. sometimes i look at others around me who seem to easily let go and trust, and i think, "how, can they do that so easily?" well, for one thing they do not dread, worry, fret, or fear and each one of these things are areas in which i must work on. each one of us know the areas in our lives in which we must work on and at times i fail horribly. however, i am so thankful for a God who is full of love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness. i know that i need to build character, because by trusting God in difficult situations the more character we can build. yet, even at the thought of this i somewhat cringe...no, not somewhat but, a lot. i begin to think, "oh, no what if God brings something into my life that will really, really test me?" but, you see that's where letting go and letting God comes in and at some things i can do that but, at other things it does not come naturally, maybe you experience the same type of problem. i think all of us do to a certain extent. why? because we are human, and flawed. yet, i believe God looks at the heart, and can see what lies within. those of us who have a relationship with Christ and wish to live for Him strive to live for Him isn't that what He is looking for? He knows He will never find perfection, yet, i believe what He is looking for is also desire. a desire to do what is right, a desire to please Him, and a desire to trust....in all situations. often my emotions and moods get in the way. but, applying discipline i can become stable and remain peaceful, whatever my situation or circumstance may be...so can you.  i long to trust God in all areas of my life. i want to strive to be more like my Savior. deep within i long to please Him to be a servant and live my life as He would want me to, walking with Him from day to day.

D E S I R E S of my heart...

allowing God to give me something is so much better than trying to get it for myself. does a way exist for us to have our desires fulfilled? i know that if we delight ourselves in the Lord He will give us the desires of our heart, this is a promise from God. however, sometimes i spend many times in my life frustrated and struggling, often trying to do something about things that i really do not have any control over. but, i do know that if i commit my ways unto Him, He will bring it to pass. many times i do not know why i tend to be so stubborn, yet i am...wanting things in my timing, wanting things to be done my way. asking God why? asking what if? when?  what for? when it actuality God's ways are higher than my ways, and ultimately He is in control, but to give up that control is difficult mainly because i am stubborn, and many times wish to take the reigns and lead. giving it all over to Him is not an easy thing for me, as it may not be an easy thing for you. yet, Christ actually commands us to...and yet, it still remains difficult to do. however, i must let go and allow God to be God in my life. He wants to give me  the desires of my heart. yet, first and foremost i need to and actually must commit my ways to Him. 

God Is In Control/Avalon 

http://youtu.be/lSxBJycSUY0



R E A C H I N G out for with God A L L things are possible...

how comforting to have a friend reach out in love and meet with me and talk. this past saturday, august 20,2011 a friend came along side of me and brought such comfort to my spirit and to my soul. i cannot begin to express how much this meant to me. how beautiful it is when a friend lends a helping hand, gives words that are uplifting and led by the Spirit of God. this particular friend expressed that they did not have any real words of wisdom, but they do not realize how much God used them to help. i left our time with such peace and deep appreciation for what this precious person did for me, for this i express thankfulness.

we never know what a kind word, a friendly smile, and thoughtfulness can do for another person. when we feel as though these actions may not mean so much, we may not be aware of the impact that they are making to another human being that quite possibly are going through a time of hardship, or even possibly sadness. positive actions and reaching out even to strangers is a way of looking beyond ourselves, our problems and touching the lives of others.  i have often thought that even when we give something as simple as a thoughtful word or a smile it may be the only smile or kind and thoughtful word that someone has received during that day or even for quite a while. we just never know the story that lies beyond the set of eyes of each person we come in contact with. each person has a story. and the majority of the time we are unaware of what that story may be. i pray that i will be sensitive and caring enough to look beyond myself and reach out in Godly love. one never knows the impact of hope that they may bring to another person. Lord, i pray that i may look beyond me. beyond what may be going on in my life and offer myself to you. Lord, help me to be an instrument of hope and healing to others. now, back to the friend that took the time to meet with me. i once again thank you. you were used of God in a way that you may of been unaware of at the time. i wish to express to you a heart of gratitude. i know you will be blessed for listening and giving me words of comfort and healing. you reminded me once again that God promises that we will make it through and with God all things are possible.

Here is a song that blessed me this morning:

 Pull Me Out/Bebo Norman

http://youtu.be/rPmfETLCeek 

without Y O U i am nothing

i look deep inside and i sense a need for a touch from God in a way that will bring joy and renew the Spirit that is within me. i must confess i am at a point of not knowing what to say to help one of the most priceless treasures in my life. i ask for just the right words to say, just the right ways of showing love and i know that there are many times when God grants me those words. i must confess, i cannot do it on my own, nor would i ever claim it possible. so, Lord i call on You to continue to show me the way, fill my heart with Your joy, give me the strength that i so desperately need. guide me, give me peace to know that what i am doing and saying is coming from You. teach me to show love as You would for without You i am nothing.

Draw Me Close To You

 http://youtu.be/vb5rbE2YFH8

a M A S T E R P I E C E...

have you ever looked into the vast, starry sky at night and felt very small in comparison? have you ever looked at the ocean and thought about the unbelievable greatness of God? i have. i've considered the greatness of God as i've observed His creation all around me and you know what's cool? He considers you and i a masterpiece of His creation, made in His very image! how amazing to think that He would consider us to be a masterpiece. yes, that for certain "blows me away!" i praise Him for His greatness, and for the fact that no matter how excellent and great He is, He loves me, and wants to spend time with me, and considers me a precious friend, and His love for me is eternal and unconditional. Praise His name!

life is t o o short...



any day i spend angry or offended is a wasted day. life is too short and too precious to waste any of it.

i thought of this at around 5:15a.m. and it just kept milling over in my mind. and, then i thought, "kim, do you realize how many day's you've wasted?" heaven knows i've wasted plenty, too many, more than i should have. i go through a period of time in which i make a decision to not waste a day being angry or offended. i also strive to have a series of days in which i won't become fearful or worry. i will be successful for a few days and then fall right back into the rut of wasting precious time. do you have a problem in this area? i know i can't possibly be the only one in the boat on this one, however, the only one i'm responsible for is myself. once a day is gone and used up it is just that....gone, used up. there are so many days i wish i could get back, many to enjoy all over again, many to make better choices, and do the right thing, and many to be more appreciative of all of the many blessings that i have, and that surround me. as we all know time is not that way, it doesn't stop, it just keeps on ticking. i can't get back yesterday and i don't even know if i'll have tomorrow. the very best thing for me to do is live in the present moment and make that moment count for something positive. i think we all battle with this from time to time and if you're anything like me, you battle with it more than just from time to time. i can look around me and choose to see the negative or i can look around me and choose to see the positive. i want to choose the positive, the blessings, the Godly things that totally out weigh the negative things. the voice of truth will always direct us to the good, the voice of lies will not. Lord, i pray that you will help me to see the good that surrounds me, that i will not become easily offended or spend moments angry, and that i will not waste a day filled with negative thoughts, but will instead welcome the beautiful and precious blessings that are in my life, and concentrate on what is positive, so that i will not waste the wonderful moments that you have given.

s e l f i s h n e s s...

do you deal with selfishness sometimes? i know that i do. i know in my service for God i never want to give up, but, in order to fully do this i am going to have to sacrifice my selfish wants and desires. it seems that being selfish with my time and personal space can lead me to become self-centered. one of the best ways that i know to help with being self-centered is to look at those around me, especially the hurting and those that are in need and give. give of my time, my love, concern and care. is this always the easiest thing for me to do? absolutely not, and i admit that, because it is the honest to God truth. i look within, see my needs, my hurts, my pains, and set up camp. but, if i truly and fully want to be used by God, i must look beyond my circumstances.  if i am going to be a person that never gives up, and one that wants to give all of me to Christ, i must make a conscience choice to get my thoughts, concerns, and eyes off of myself and unto the needs of others, and the work that is needed to build the Kingdom of God. if satan can keep me tied up and set me in the position of park, camped out thinking of just me, i am in no way useful in serving the Lord. Living a disciplined committed lifestyle is difficult, it takes a strong and determined mindset. it also takes an attitude to not allow failures and mistakes to cause me to give up. all of this takes a conscience effort on my part. does it as well take a conscience effort on your part? i think it does for many. but, even though this is the case, i personally cannot use it as an excuse to keep myself at the center, but instead ask God to help me to become less of me and more of Him. being more of Him is naturally reaching beyond where i tend to concentrate most and turn my eyes and heart unto the lives of others, that is the best medicine and healing balm for the soul. Lord, help this to be something that i strive continuously to do. i desire to be a servant, more like Christ every single day. i yearn to be used of Him. what are your desires? do you wish to reach beyond yourself? what would be awesome is to lift each other up in prayer, asking the Lord for His guidance, strength and help...prayer is such a powerful thing something that we can never get enough of.
the following is a song that blessed me this morning. maybe it will bless you as well.
Tears Of The Saints/Leeland
http://youtu.be/qJjg1Joag_0

thank You my F A T H E R J E S U S!

exactly 3 days ago i prayed that God would perform a miracle, i cried out to Him from the depths of my soul, i am so filled to overflowing with such joy...God performed a miracle and now the healing can begin. this time of healing will not take place over night and may take a long period of time, of course only Christ knows the time table. yet, i believe with all of my heart that He performed a miracle and there is no doubt that we now have a starting  point in which to begin a time of restoration. i asked for prayer several times, because i firmly believe that prayer is a direct line to God and it is the most important way for us to communicate straight to the Father. thank you to those who prayed. what a wonderful realization that there are those who have taken the time to bring my family to the Father through prayer. God is showing Himself in such a powerful way. but, i would like to ask that if you can to continue to pray that God would help us through this time of healing it would mean so much to our family. as brothers and sisters in Christ it is such a comforting feeling and thought to know that there are members in the family of God who truly care and for that i am most thankful. praise God He answered my prayer. He knows what is best and all things happen within His timing. in my post regarding the voice that i had been missing so much is back again...thank you my Father Jesus...thank You so much.

our own 4 w a l l s ? or is it much more?

how big is the body of Christ? 4 walls? no. do you only show concern, care, love for those who attend within your 4 walls? or do you reach out to your brothers and sisters outside of your comfort zone and show the true love of Jesus? the true hands and feet of Jesus? sometimes i believe it is so easy to get comfortable in our own familiar surroundings that we forget that there are hurting people and yes even fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who carry heavy burdens and need love, concern, and care shown to them. these individuals are fellow soldiers who share the same goals, who are attempting at building the Kingdom of God. yet, many times they are passed over, and shamefully often forgotten. how can such a thing happen? how do you build a work when this is the mentality? once a person or persons leave a church they do not cease to exist, they do not cease to become family. where is it found in scripture to carry through with such an act? growing up in the church i have often noticed that some (not all) Christians can be the most thoughtless when it comes to other fellow believers who all dwell within the body of Christ. this is not to say that all Christians do this, but this should be a problem in which the family of Christ strives to overcome. the world is watching. if they see us not even giving a hand of hope to those who believe, what would be their incentive to become a Christian? to be just like this? Christ commanded and commands that we show love, yes, loving people even if those people are Christians that do not dwell within our 4 walls we call our church. actually when it comes right down to it, it's really not about the church, it's about being the hands and feet of Jesus and truly reaching out and showing love, just like Christ did.

If We Are The Body/Casting Crowns

http://youtu.be/z4wojcSO9Ww 

that v o i c e . . .

i was up this morning at 4:45 a.m. couldn't sleep. i know on week days some get up at this time on a regular bases, my wake up time is usually 6:00 a.m. so i suppose i wasn't too far off. however, my heart was so heavy. i have for some time now enjoyed getting up when the house is quiet and all are still sleeping, but with what is going on in our lives right now, it made me think so much about the voice that i'm not hearing. the voice that each and every time when entering a room that i would be in, would always say, "Hi Mommy." and each time in the morning after coming down the stairs that sweet voice would say, "Good morning mommy, did you sleep good?" this morning it hit home, and i realized just how quiet it is with that sweet voice missing...an emptiness came over me, a heaviness. you just really never know what it will feel like until it happens to you. as i began to make coffee, memories started flowing. memories of her when she was young, still pretending, still playing star wars, dressing up in costumes pretending to be a jedi and swinging around a light saber. holding her kitty shadow, and loving on her as if shadow was a baby. making music together, listening to her voice sing so beautifully as she played the guitar. these are just a few, so many more have flooded my soul so often, sometimes to the point of overflowing.

when i felt all of these thoughts and feelings start flooding my soul, i knew i had to write. writing for me is therapeutic, it gives me a way in which i can release all of the many emotions that seem to get bottled up inside. many times i have sat in tears and have written, many times i have sat and smiled, laughed, feeling a relief as the words were emptied from my mind.

now the sun has clearly shown it's bright rays. birds are appearing in the bird feeder in my front tree. i love to bird watch and i have binoculars that i use from time to time to watch them. so now morning is clearly awake, another day that God has given. i thank God for all of His tender mercies. i pray for a daughter, whose voice i long to hear, yes that voice that beautiful, sweet, and caring voice.

why then is it so d i f f i c u l t for me to follow through and do it?

God never takes a person to a certain point to then make the decision to drop them off in a ditch out in the middle of nowhere. He is constantly carrying when we need it, and He is constantly taking care of us. We may not know what the future holds and we may question the purpose. But,comfort can be found in knowing that we are never alone, that God is always there. It is up to us to just hold on, listen and obey.

this came to my mind earlier today. all of it sounds great. is true. has complete overtones of comfort, but then i ask myself the question: "why, is it so hard to do?" my mind becomes filled with actually several questions. you know some of the normal ones: 1.) why is God doing this? 2.) when will it end? 3.) what is He trying to teach? 4.) how could this have happen? 5.) was it my fault? and honestly, i could go on and ask several more...at this point in time my mind is filled with questions. but, as i have written before, we see just a small, tiny place, a corner if you will on a huge canvass. there is no way in the world that it would be possible for us to see the entire picture, and even if we could because of the fact of our mortal bodies and minds we would be incapable of handling all that we would see and know.

as i have sat and intently thought of what our family is going through, i do believe the only way to bear the pain is to constantly give it over to the only one who can handle it and it is God Himself. see now what i just said is a prime example of me knowing what is the truth, my question is why then is it so difficult for me to follow through and do it? i feel like each time that i don't, i am falling short, and sinning. then of course there's the other part of me that says, "Kim, you are human, you will fail, yet at the same time strive to do what is right." i don't think we can apply 100% and all at once that which is the right and proper thing to do,at all times,at least that's what i believe and of course i could be wrong....i just feel as humans that have been saved by grace still live in a body that is earthly and perfection has not been obtained therefore mistakes will be made, even if God has revealed to us the answer and has shown us what we need to do to correct a situation or if we entirely apply that which He has shown, for problems to be much easier to face. i believe we are constantly striving, reaching, and yes there will be times of victories, but there will also be times when we don't quite hit the mark, is that to say that we are hypocrites? no, i believe it expresses the fact that we are human and must rely on God to help us. i fail more than i would like to admit. i write things here on my blog that God places on my heart and then to apply it to my own life, many times i fall short. God gives the answer but it can be difficult so many times to take that answer or answers and put them to practice. i will strive. i will aim for the goal of putting to practice that which God reveals to me. will there be times when i will fail? yes. is it because i don't care? no. it's because i am a human still growing in Christ, still learning how to apply what He reveals to me. and still yearning with all of me to be a servant whose heart longs to follow and obey. 

p r a y e r . . .

well, i have been debating this back and forth in my own head. i have been debating whether i should use my blog to ask for a favor. many of you i know are Christians. you believe in God and you believe in prayer. so, i decided that since this is a blog that i started and it is supposed to be transparent that it would be OK to use it to ask for a favor.

my favor is simply this: would you please pray for my family? we are hurting so deeply right now. some things have happen that we clearly do not understand why. what has happen has torn our hearts apart and without help from God there is no happy ending. yes, God hears us. He answers our prayers. so, if you read this just say a quick prayer for the Bostic Family. the way i look at it the more praying the better it will be, and hopefully many will read this and will say a prayer.

well, that is it. that's all that there is this time. i do know that God is in control and that His strength is made perfect when our strength is not, He'll carry us when we can't carry on, raised in His power the weak become strong, His strength is perfect...His strength is perfect.

P.S. it would be so encouraging to know that you prayed. if you did could you comment and just let me know you did? if you don't feel comfortable doing this then that is OK. i feel so blessed just to have your prayer.

God Of My Everything/Bebo Norman

http://youtu.be/zdXkG-tlXdU

r e s t o r a t i o n . . .

i am so thankful that God is a God of restoration. He makes worn-out, and destroyed things completely new. i am so thankful that God renews, rewards, redeems, refines, resurrects, revives, releases. He takes what some would consider junk and turns it into something beautiful. He takes a life that has been broken into many pieces, and puts all of the pieces back together. yes, He is a God of restoration, He is a restorer of souls. souls that are repentant are forgiven of their sins, restored yes, restored and made whole. so much to be thankful for, so many blessings that our precious Lord and Savior has showered down on us like a soft cool rain. how thankful i am to be one of His very own. how awesome to know that i have been restored.

Restored/Jeremy Camp

http://youtu.be/KOG-gugJBh0

thinking p o s i t i v e the right choice...

at·ti·tude 

noun

manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc., with regard to a person or thing; tendency or orientation, especially of the mind: a negative attitude

there are days when i loose count of how many times i have to "check" my attitude. i lean towards negative (yep, that's me just being real) and to turn that negative attitude into a positive one takes effort. i wouldn't say i have an angry attitude, walking around with a "chip on my shoulder" just more of a negative one, it's not always this way but more so than i would like. honestly more than any other thing our attitude is what determines the kind of life we are going to have. there is such power in having a positive attitude. i've noticed the difference in my own life, have you? when my attitude is positive things are better and when i'm negative things are not so good, it's actually as simple as that. put in good you get good, put in bad you get bad. it is especially important to have a positive attitude because God is positive, have you ever thought of it that way? what's amazing is that when we are positive it releases God to work in our lives. no matter what we face, the truth is..."He who lives in me (and you if you have a relationship with Him) is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world." -I John 4:4. knowing this is so comforting. and what an awesome difference in my outlook and in my life when i choose to be positive. when i have a positive attitude it is a result of focusing on the right thing-God. 

just jotted down my thoughts...

i am sitting here thinking, and my mind keeps coming back to the place where a question is. the question is:"who does God use?" and the word that just seems to be most prominent is "humble." some people think that they are effective leaders, and many of them are numbers people, always concentrating on the number of people that arrive at church, the number of people that come out to this function, to that function, which honestly makes me wonder if it's more about themselves being given the opportunity to flaunt then it is about anything else. of course this is just my thinking, it's not to say that all who are numbers people also like to flaunt it, because many could just genuinely be excited about the number of people because the larger the number the more opportunity for lives to be changed and of course that should be the reason for desiring a big crowd to begin with. but, earlier i mentioned "humble" God uses individuals who exemplify the heart of servant hood. these individuals are thankful and are in awe to think that a God would see fit to use someone such as themselves to further His Kingdom. these individuals realize that aside from Christ they are nothing. they know that they are weak aside from His strength, and they aren't arrogant and do not come across as promoting themselves, but instead every ounce of who they are desires to give God the glory because they realize that all belongs to Him. the humble people that God uses are driven to their knees and many of them live with scars. honestly, i believe that this is the type of person that God uses to the fullest. they may be very good at one particular thing or have a certain gift in which they excel or may even have multiple gifts, but what's so awesome is that they are not arrogant, always trying to out do the other person, or are in competition and almost become irritated when something good happens for others, no they are happy for others who are being used of God, and thank God for other brothers and sisters in the Lord that are helping to build the Kingdom. yes, God uses the humble, those who are driven to their knees, some with many imperfections because when given to Christ He heals and He also takes those who live with scars and uses them as examples that Christ can heal and can help a person fully forgive. so, sitting here all of this is what came to mind. maybe i haven't typed it out to perfection but mainly just jotted down my thoughts as they came. if any of it made sense then praise be to God.

the only life you can enjoy is your own...

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." -Abraham Lincoln

the only life you can enjoy is your own. that may seem so obvious that it is unnecessary for me to write it, but think about it. i have found with me personally that often one of the major reasons i don't enjoy my life is that i'm not happy with the life i have. does that describe you? maybe not all the time but sometimes? well, as i said it does me....sometimes. instead of embracing the realities of life we may spend our time thinking, i wish i looked like her (been on my mind a lot lately since i'm so over weight), i wish i had his or hers job, i wish i were married, i wish i wasn't married, i wish my marriage wasn't so difficult, i wish i had children, i wish my children would grow up, i wish i had a new house...and the list goes on. i know i need to work extra hard at accepting the life that i've been given, it's possible that you deal with this as well...i do not know, but what i do know is that there's just no way i'm in this boat alone. if you experience any of this we must not allow jealousy or comparison to cause us to be absent from our own lives because we want someone else's life. each one of us are given the opportunity to make the most of our lives, we should embrace (l love that word!) our lives. because it all boils down to the fact that we will never receive any one else's, just the one that God us given to us. i've heard it said, "Don't complain; don't compare; don't covet someone else's life, and don't spend your valuable time wishing things were different." oh, how true, and yet, to be honest sometimes it feels like it is more easier said than done. so, for me personally, i'll keep striving along. asking God to help me in many areas of my life, because i have so many areas in which i haven't nor will i ever meet perfection. i've often said, "perfection doesn't happen until we reach heavens gates." as long as i am here on this earth i want to strive, and set goals to be one that overcomes. when i do stop and think about the wonderful things that i have, i realize just how blessed i truly am. if you have a moment why don't you set some time aside to think about and thank the Lord for all of the blessings that He has given to you? when i do this it always helps, but, for me it's something that i have to do quite often, who knows you may not have to, you may not be as stubborn and as hard headed as i am, and if you aren't well, then that's just one more blessing you can thank the Lord for. let's remember that everything about us is by His design, we can accept the way that God has made us and the life that He has given. of course every life includes good and bad, easy and difficult, strength and weakness. nobody has the perfect life. i've also heard it said that "true life is really not found in arriving at the destination; it is found in the journey." take one day at a time as we travel on this journey, appreciate and thank the Lord for the wonderful life that we've been given, and take the time to smell the roses along the way. 

ok, time to get real transparent...

i have come to the point in which i am sick and tired of being over weight. i never had a problem with my weight growing up and after i had each one of the girls, i lost the weight that i had gained with both pregnancies. so, with this post i am going to be way transparent and to some of you on the verge of whining. honestly, this issue in and of itself has driven me to tears. being bipolar means that i must take medications, a side effect is the possibility of gaining weight, you'd know i'd fall into the possibility category. honestly, i watch what i eat, and yes i have started, walking, with scott and our dog nilla 30 minutes a day, and we are making sure we keep up a brisk pace. am i doing this all wrong? i miss my slender shape. i miss the way i felt in my clothes, i miss the way i felt about myself. it's downright making me angry to see me so overweight...i mean we're not talking 10 pounds, more like 50 or so. 2 years ago i had knee surgery, so that set me back, but right now i feel like i need to do something more and something fast before i pull all of the hair out of my head. now, all of what i have said thus far is being said fully through the mindset of me thinking negatively about the entire situation. but, after doing some thinking i've come up with some productive thoughts. it is quite possible that God is allowing me to remain at the weight that i am to help me take a whole different view of the situation. maybe he's trying to teach me that instead of me being obsessed with the outer beauty, the part that fades with time, i must work at what lies within. as i am getting older i am realizing that my looks are changing and if i do not put the time and effort into beautifying that which lies within and becoming comfortable in the skin i am in and showing appreciation more often for the beautiful new days that God gives, which are really awesome gifts granted from Him. i may find myself sad, clinging to the past and wishing things were different instead of living a life in which i through His grace am making a positive difference in the lives that i touch. instead of being so consumed with the issue of losing weight built solely on cosmetic purposes, i should do what i can do to loose the weight because of health related reasons but, accept myself as God has made me, and not compare myself to others. when a person exemplifies an inner strength an inner radiance one cannot help but be beautiful. so instead of being sick and tired of being fat, maybe i should just take one day at a time, do what i need to do to shed the pounds but have an attitude and a heart change. i know if i do this it would sure make me feel a lot better. God didn't intend for us to spend our days unhappy, sad, and lack joy. He wants us to enjoy the life that He has given us. being all wrapped up in that which lies on the outside takes away the times that should be spent investing on the inside...where it really counts. guess i don't feel so bad after all. just typing this out and sharing these thoughts have been like a healing balm to my soul, who knows maybe it's been the same for you...that would simply be awesome if it has.

an amazing friend...

to realize that God is my friend, and wants to be my friend has always been a truth and promise that simply "blows me away." becoming friends with God is not difficult. if we are followers of Jesus Christ, He calls us His friend because He has shared with us everything He has heard from the Father in John 15:15 it says that He no longer calls us servants, but, instead calls us friends, because everything that He has learned from the Father, He has made known to us. you see friendship is based on sharing, openly and honestly, and we share with God through prayer. not emergency prayers, just during the times when we are desperate. it's based on regular times of sharing, and fellowship. the way that we develop great friendships is to invite people to be part of our everyday lives. we must invite God to be part of our everyday lives, we must share with Him throughout each day. we can do this by prayer, including Him in our thoughts, conversations, or as we go through our regular routines. see that's what's so cool about it. we don't have to be in a certain, place, a certain setting, around certain people we can go to Him wherever we are and at anytime, we can talk to Him as a friend, while we are walking the dog, driving the car, or even while making a meal, how wonderful is that? What also amazes me is that He wants to be our friend, He of course doesn't have any favorites, but He does have those believers who are intimate with Him and these are those who put the effort into developing an intimate relationship with Him, a close friendship. those who spend times throughout the day talking, and sharing, spending time with Him. that is my goal, to become intimate with Jesus, to feel His presence ever so near, and know without a doubt that i am His and He is mine. 

saturday morning...thoughts from God & of course my cup of coffee

i've heard it said, "that you don't have to sit back and let life happen TO you." here on earth we don't get the opportunity to choose whether or not we'll be free from pain. of course if we did we would never choose it. the truth is whether things are good in our lives or they are difficult there are always seasons in life. sometimes it may feel as if life is pressing in on us, however that's not going to change, as long as we live in our mortal bodies. we've all been frustrated by outcomes in life. we've all been hurt. we've all had our share of pain, stress, trials, and hard times. many times it has felt like life was pressing in on us. But, you know God did not create any of us to be doormats to be stomped on and walked over every day. the postive side to all of this is that God has given us an incredible power. He has given us His strength, His power to help overcome and press through any issue that may come our way in our lives. often i have sat back and said, "i sure do wish this situation wasn't the way that it is." but wishing isn't going to change it. wishes don't have the power to change my life, to change your life. but, if i rely on the power of God and i determine in my heart to do as paul said in the Word of God press forward as i run this race and reach for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus, and keep my determination to run this race with integrity and vow to have the victory, of course with His guidance and strength there is nothing that i cannot press against or press through. what is pressing against you? what is your greatest source of stress? one of my major sources of stress is worry, and although i know that it is a sin, it still raises its ugly head, and far too often i surrender to it, and yes i committ the sin of worry. satan knows that this is my weak point. but, i can break the habit of worry by pressing through and allowing the Lord to grant me strength to do so. what is your greatest source of stress? what ever it is God can help you press up against it and with His strength break through it to victory. something that i must always remember is that i cannot for one second do it on my own, i must tap into the awesome power of God. we can do it. it's not impossible. but it doesn't happen without us deciding to change and cry out to God for His power and His strength. we must first realize that we have certain issues in our lives that causes us the most stress, and then bring them to Jesus and follow His guidance, believing in our hearts that with Him showing us the way and providing us with His strength we can overcome. God can and will help us to press against, to press through and gain the victory, we first must make the choice to do so.

what i have written comes from learning under the teachings of Joyce Meyer. she has been used of God in numerous ways as i face the battles of life.

The following is a song the touched me and ministered to me this morning.

Strong Tower/Kutless

http://youtu.be/lLYnN3rRC1Q

even the seemingly smallest of things...

when was the last time you helped to put a smile on someones face..."just because?" or just helped spread random acts of kindness..."just because?" when was the last time i did? as a Christian those simple acts are done for a purpose...to show the love of Jesus and to spread it wherever we go. when is the last time you got so caught up in your life that you forgot to reach out and touch another persons life? when is the last time i did? God has placed us where we are throughout the day, where we live, where we attend church, where we work, for very specific reasons, nothing is coincidental with God, everything is directed by Him and serves a purpose. but, far too often opportunities to be His hands and His feet aren't carried through because we are "living" our lives. i allow too many days to pass in which i don't do any of the above. so many opportunities to shed some light, to share some love, to give some support just slips right through my fingers, or passes me right by because i am in deep thought about...well, myself. i'm engulfed within my own world that i become blinded by what is going on all around me. do you ever experience this? i'm sure each one of us have to some degree, some more so than others. as Christians we are to share Gods love in several ways, and you know what? the world is watching. why does it seem so difficult to carry out some of these simple things? i believe it is because satan clouds our view, gets us so wrapped up in "our own life" and we get in such a hurry that we loose sight of what really matters. but, actually when the rubber meets the road, we make the choice. we choose to allow satan to gain the victory, and yes it is a very big victory. i allow him to gain this victory far too often, sometimes i allow myself to become so lame that i hand it right over to him, instead of claiming the power of God, standing strong and firm and doing what is right. Jesus Christ has called each one of us who claim to be Christians to do the right thing, to reach out to a world that desperately needs love, needs random acts of kindness. it may seem like a little thing to do, and yet we pass up opportunities that are so simple, help put a smile on someones face, share the love of Jesus Christ. just remember behind every set of eyes is a story...we honestly do not know the impact that being kind and bringing a smile to someones face can do. i personally need to look past myself and place my attention onto those around me, God will bless even the seemingly smallest of things done in His name.

Follow You/Leeland

http://youtu.be/z1vt3ef823E

how awesome is the Word...

this morning as i was reading Gods Word and thinking about what to write, i decided to take some time and type out scripture that spoke to me this morning and other times in my life. i trust that the following scripture verses will touch you and speak to you as they have to me.

*****

Psalm 100

"Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs. know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His we are His people, the sheep of His pasture. enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. for the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations."

Psalm 27

Verse 1: "The Lord is my light and my salvation whom shall i fear? the Lord is the stronghold of my life of whom shall i be afraid?" Verse 13: "I am still confident of this: i will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Verse 14: "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

Psalm 34

Verse 1: "I will extol the Lord at all times; His praise will always be on my lips." Verse 2: "My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice." Verse 3: "Glorify the Lord with me;  let us exalt His name together." Verse 4: "I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears." Verse 5: "Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame." Verse 6: "This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; He saved him out of all his trouble." Verse 7: "The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and He delivers them." Verse 8: "Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man that takes refuge in Him."

*****

all of these verses are verses that have touched me in tremendous ways. i have opened my Bible and have read them countless times. it helps me immensely to have verses that i can run to and read. of course there are many other Bible verses that have helped me, filled my heart with joy, peace, strength, etc. however, this morning the ones that i have typed came to mind immediately and touched me deeply. my prayer is that they will do the same for you. mediate on them. let the words sink in, for each word has been inspired by the awesome God of our universe.

His love endures forever!

Love...such a beautiful thing especially when it is given unconditionally. the love of God is unconditional, the love of God covers us through the good and bad times, it never ends, but endures forever. when i am reading God's word sometimes i will take the Bible, pray for God to show me something that He would have me hear for that particular moment. i don't know if you've ever done this, but, i close my eyes open the Bible and wherever my finger lands i then open my eyes and see what God has for me to read. this morning i thought i would do that. i closed my eyes opened the Bible pointed and opened my eyes to this verse found in Psalm chapter 118 verse 1. "Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever. the thought of His love enduring forever touched my heart deeply. this of course encouraged me to think about His unconditional love. i honestly cannot imagine a day without the love of God. to know that His love spreads over me, hems me in from behind and before, and is for all of eternity...never ending. to experience this love personally all one needs to do is pray asking God to forgive them of their sins and come into their heart. it is then that the Holy Spirit indwells within and a personal relationship with the Heavenly Father begins. just to think that Jesus would go to a cross, shed His blood because of such unconditional love is beyond what words could describe, such love is boundless, never ends and constantly covers, like a big beautiful and soft wing, covering and protecting. His love eternally forgives. no sin is too big, that He cannot forgive, it says in His Word that His love "Covers a multitude of sins." that when He forgives, He forgives and forgets and sees our sin no more and that the sin becomes as far as the east is from the west. yes, his unconditional love endures forever, for He is good He is above all things, praise God His love endures forever. 

The Love Of God

http://youtu.be/Fla6EO07I3E

this is the day the Lord has made...

this is the day that the Lord has made...

what a wonderful weekend i had. i trust you had a wonderful one as well. do you ever notice though how fast the weekend goes? i know i sure do. sunday was the best day of my weekend, i enjoyed attending church and just being around other believers, it sure gave a real boost to my spirit. this morning before i got out of bed i spoke the verse: "this is the day that the Lord has made i will rejoice and be glad in it." many of you i know are familiar with that verse, it's a wonderful verse. my reason for speaking it was to attempt to start my day off on the right foot, so before my feet hit the floor that verse was spoken from my lips. now comes the day, the day to live out that verse. God has given me a brand new day and to set as my goal to live it rejoicing and being glad. this takes effort, effort on my part. i can choose to put forth that effort or choose to just speak the verse and not allow it to really penetrate my soul and effect my entire day. honestly, however, if i make it through half the day meeting this goal, i'm happy because i'm  making progress. i've heard it said, "i'm not where i need to be but praise God, i'm not where i used to be." so even if i take baby steps forward, it's progress, and yes, usually my steps are baby steps with a few larger steps thrown in here and there. i can still see the hand of God working, it just takes me to stop and notice, and rejoice that He is at work in my life. do you notice this in your life? do you see His hand at work? each step that we take are so much easier walking along side of our Master, our Savior, our Friend. there are so many things in our lives to rejoice over, so many things to be thankful for. God pours out His blessings in our lives each day. i know personally i don't always notice, but, that's usually because i'm not looking, but allowing the noise, and chaos of this world to drown out and cover my eyes to the glorious things that He is doing every single day.

so, today i have two choices. will i rejoice and be glad that this is the day that the Lord has made? or will i allow myself to take my eyes off of the one who will allow me to see how blessed i really am and blessed enough to rejoice? God can't make me choose wisely, no, it is my choice to make. Lord, help me to choose what is right. 

The following is a song that blessed me this morning. 

Beautiful Lord/Leeland

http://youtu.be/1z0aPJURhww 

as i sit here on this beautiful saturday morning with my cup of coffee...

i am sitting here on this beautiful saturday morning with my cup of coffee listening to classical music. some may not get into classical music, however i find it to be music that is helpful to clear my head. of course i have my favorite composers and trust me i don't get into all of it, but, i do enjoy a great deal of it.

so, on this sunny saturday morning as i sit and listen to classical music and hear the birds sing their tunes, i am at a loss of what to write about. my last post spoke heavily on positive thinking and what a difference it can make in ones life. but, you want to know what's interesting? right after i finished writing that post, negative thoughts began to unload in my mind. of course i thought, "OK kim, here comes the time to practice what you just wrote, which isn't always the easiest thing to do, i don't know if you've ever experienced this, but i often do. of course i knew who it was coming from and at the moment i don't even feel like writing his name, because to be quite honest he makes me sick, as he should, if he didn't i would have a problem in which words could not describe. at first when the thoughts flooded my mind i didn't cut myself much slack, but i should have because the bottom line is...i am human, as you are, we come up against so much in this life, and to try and control it, change it, make it all better, is something that we cannot for even one second do on our own, no we need our heavenly Father to be at the helm, to guide, and to sail each one of our vessels. do you ever find yourself thinking that you can do it alone? if your answer is yes, then maybe you've gotten to the place in which i don't believe i'll ever arrive...as i said i'm human, just a mortal, with struggles that i face each day. yes, each day is a wonderful gift from God but because we still live in a fleshly body we will face struggles. the father of lies, the disgusting one will try with all of his strength to sell us a boat load of lies. with me, he has almost daily tried to make me think that life is just one big struggle. now, you may not have experienced this to the degree that i have and to the degree that many others have and if you have reached this point, i would love to talk with you. i realize that with each struggle God is always there, but, i also realize i must listen, grasp His hand, and hang on. you may wonder why i talk about issues regarding the power of the mind, thinking positively instead of negatively, struggles that we face, etc., etc. well, it is because i am being transparent, sharing with you, things that go on in my life, and i suppose it is just me being real and open. do i dread each day? No! i realize that God in all of His mercy and love grants each one of us a new day to live. but, i am also very aware that with each day struggles can come our way. however, it's not in the struggles that come but, in how we handle the struggles, do we fall flat on our faces (as i have ....remember my blog is "transparent thoughts") or with the strength of God and the fact that we are covered, stood in the face of adversity and said, "i will not be moved?" from the way i talk you may probably think that i have never experienced this type of strength from God, but, praise God i have and how awesome to know that God held me and helped get me through. if you are a Christian, and you are daily experiencing a personal relationship with Him, you will have that strength given by God to stare the father of lies straight in the eyes and remain strong because you are clinging to and covered by the mighty one. however, daily we must ask for that strength and then daily allow God to cover us with it. but, since we are still human there may be days in which we fail. but, you know what's cool? we can cry out to Him and He will lift us right back up and allow us to stand on our feet once again.

well, this morning i have felt like what i have written has been somewhat poured out in a fashion in which it may be difficult to follow. i suppose i've just jotted down thoughts that have come to mind. hopefully you can make sense of some of it...if not all of it. often i have so much that fills my mind i don't know where to start. i can only hope and pray that you will have received a blessing and that God has spoken to you through the typed words of a person that's all over the map this morning.

now, since i mentioned that i was listening to classical music, i am going to include a title and a youtube link to one of my favorite pieces of music. i am drawn to the strings, and find them to be so beautiful...who knows maybe you'll enjoy it as well :)

Adagio For Strings/Samuel Barber

http://youtu.be/E_4RLe2z3Po

making "mountains out of molehills"

did you know that we can make "mountains out of molehills" just by thinking negatively? negative thinking tends to blow things out of proportion. when we think this way we begin to view things larger and more difficult than they really are. when i think negatively i magnify the unpleasant or undesirable aspects of a situation or my circumstances and i fail to see anything good in it. i don't know but it's possible that you as well play out this same routine in your mind. the mind becomes conditioned, almost trained to gravitate towards this type of thinking, especially if you've been practicing this over a long period of time....it's as if it is an automatic reaction. i know personally i am this way, and i must consciously put forth the effort to make myself see the good, and the positive. every person's life and even our circumstances include more good than bad, if we simply determine to personally think positive thoughts as opposed to negative thoughts. there is such power in the mind far more than we realize. satan does not wish for us to realize the capacity in which our minds can control our lives. God wants us to know and wants us to learn to automatically dwell upon Him from which all things that are good come from. "But, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control."-Galatians 5:22-23. also, it says in Philippians 4:8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 

All that is contained in each of these verses are positive. we must think on such things...i must think on such things. even if it does not come natural to do so, i must, because in doing so it will place my mind in the right place, it will begin the process of using the Spirit of God and the positive thoughts upon which He stands to fight against the lies of satan. satan cannot win as long as we cling to God, speak His word, and pray with a heart that believes. satan only buzzes around trying to scare us into believing that he can sting again, but God removed that sting on the cross. i and if you struggle with this must make it a point to breathe in God and His voice which is the voice of truth and breathe out fear and doom which comes directly from satan. we must lean on God for His strength, and allow Him to embrace us and saturate us with His love, friendship, grace and truth. remember God speaks in love, and truth. satan speaks in fear and lies. we must listen to the voice of truth, think positive, and not allow ourselves to think negatively, we must not allow ourselves to make "mountains out of molehills." think on the Love of God, all of the love that covers us who believe. remember His words are full of love, He expressed the most unconditional love ever on the cross. satan wishes for us to forget about this, to concentrate on the hardships of life,etc., but, God wants us to remember that His grace covers us, His mercy endures, His goodness never ends, His love is unconditional, and His voice is the voice of TRUTH.

O The Deep Deep Love Of Jesus

http://youtu.be/9hzYKovRsJ8

good grief, i ran out of coffee

i have come to the conclusion that i am hooked heavily on coffee. i used to drink one cup of coffee every morning and now i am up to four sometimes five. in the past i was much worse, but because of the negative effect it was having on me, i decided to cut coffee out of my diet. well, now for quite a long period of time i have incorporated it back into my daily use. i guess the reason i just started jotting down thoughts regarding coffee, because this morning we were out of it. don't know how that happen, none the less it did and i found my self in real frustration. i missed the house smelling like coffee, the feel of the mug in my hand, with wonderful coffee in the cup, knowing i could sip it's delicious flavor when i felt like it. now no coffee. so, i thought what shall i do? well, i also carry different types of teas. needless to say i am on my second cup of "Awake" a tea made by Tazo. not the same, not one bit. i need my coffee. isn't it interesting how we can get so attached to something such as i am to coffee. i began to think. what would happen if i got that attached to prayer? man, imagine the things that would happen? or that attached to reading the Bible, just had to have it or i would become fidgety and restless? can you imagine how Spirit filled and equipped i would be to face anything that satan throws my way because i would be so filled with the word of God with not just head knowledge, but heart knowledge as well? just some thoughts rendered up by my lack of coffee this morning...interesting to say the least. at least i had tea in the house...but, honestly it hasn't done the trick...grocery list for today -1. COFFEE

God of my hope, God of my need...

what a marvelous thought: the Lord is bigger than any of our needs. our needs come in all different sizes, pertaining to all different situations, but regardless God has them covered. God will richly fulfill your need through Christ Jesus. in Philippians 4:19 it says just that. "And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus." so it doesn't matter what type of need, how big or small the need may be, He is right there to handle it, to take care of it, and if we give it over to Him, He will take it off of our shoulder's because with Him in control it does not have to be our burden to carry. that's God's job and you know what's really cool? He enjoys doing that because of His great and unconditional love for us. a quote that i love is: "let go and let God." that's it. in just five short words it says so much, but, for many (including myself) it can be a difficult thing to do. let's strive for that..."let go and let God" take care of our every need.

God Of My Everything

http://youtu.be/6TfV6nOVCUk 

the beauty of the morning, the beauty of the earth...

Oh, what a beautiful morning it is! to drink in the beauty of nature, to sense the freshness that fills the air, to hear the birds as they happily sing their tunes. oh, the beauty of the earth. i love nature. i love to sit and just listen. it opens my senses, my mind, my heart to think about the One who created such a masterpiece for each of us to soak in and enjoy. as it has been said, and many have heard, "each day is a gift from God" truly it is. morning, one of my favorite times of the day, as the sun so high above the earth shines in all of it's splendor and radiance, shinning down on us so, bright and lovely. a sky that looks soft and to me is the most perfect shade of blue, what a breathtaking back drop for the green trees that bloom and many that rise so high, and the mountain peaks which stand with such grandeur and the oceans that run so deep and seem to go on forever with beaches that are filled with objects of beauty. yes, the delightfully gorgeous beauty of the earth, to try and drink it all in can overwhelm the senses and make them run wild. what a gift, what a treasure, and one that we must cherish, and treat with respect. God created the beauty that we see. He gave it to us as a precious and delightful gift, we must take care of it for He entrusted it within our care. so take a moment to pause, listen, breathe in the wonders that surround us....the beauty of the earth such a precious and delightful gift indeed.

Genesis 1:1-25

reasoning things out in my mind by myself can be a problem...

do you ever try to reason everything out in your mind? or perhaps try to reason some things out in your mind? i can tell you that i lean quite heavily on trying to reason things out in my mind. however, something that i need to be aware of is that trying to reason everything out by myself is a problem, and it can be a very serious matter, that i know i personally have to deal with. i need to ask God to help me to stop reasoning and begin to live by faith, leaning on and trusting in Him and not on my own understanding. In Proverbs 3:7 it says "Be not wise in your own eyes." What I believe that is saying is: i shouldn't even think that i can run my life on my own and do a good job at it without the help and direction from God. Giving up the reigns to God and allowing Him to take full control has always been something that i have found to be difficult. i am sure most of this difficulty can be traced back to my problem with trust. trust to me is somewhat like sky diving. just jumping out of a plane extremely high above the earth with the belief and trust that a parachute will for sure open and keep you from smashing to the earth with great force. but, you know i seriously need to take that leap of faith and believe that God is in control and will take care of me as He will take care of you NO matter what may come. i need to stop reasoning things through by myself. i need to give it all over to God, and walk by faith....for He is in control. 

Here Goes Nothing

http://youtu.be/S97O9395rgc