"part 1" a journey

i would like to have said that when i woke up this morning that my heart was light and my spirit felt free. however, it did not. amazing what can happen in just one day, a few hours or even one moment to the next....things can change so drastically. when i titled this blog transparent thoughts, i knew i was taking a chance. because in order for my posts to literally live up to this name, they must be transparent. so this morning i am going to be transparent. i have a illness called~bipolar. i live with it 24/7. when i was first diagnosed with it years ago, i was very, very upset. i knew nothing about the condition and felt shameful for having a "mental" illness. i have since learned it is a chemical imbalance that takes place in the brain. i was told there was no cure but with proper, medication, proper doctors care, and a great therapist, i could live as close to a "normal" life as possible. when i returned home that day, i remember feeling somewhat numb, but i realized that so many other people have it much worse and receive news every day from a doctor pertaining to life and death and having incurable diseases, etc. at the time however, i didn't realize the emotional rugged roller coaster i had before me. that same day i began a research of people that live with the illness and those who had the illness but are no longer living. the research i found was amazing. poets, artists, musicians, creative people, writers, actors, and actresses, very intellectual people, or those with great responsibilities as leaders, lived or are living with bipolar. if you ever get the chance to do a search, it will open your eyes to the people who have endured this condition. i'll give you a few names: Vincent van gogh, Mark twain, Mozart, Handel, Beethoven, Rosemary Clooney, Abraham Lincoln, and the list went on. this inspired me, i knew with the Lord on my side, and positive thoughts i could make it. this morning i am labeling this "Part 1" i will write more tomorrow, and begin to bring you on my journey, and provide for you some transparency regarding bipolar and the effect it has had on my life and the life of my family.

so, i am providing transparent information that could quiet possibly be an eye opener and be educational, as well as give you a first hand view of someone who has and is still living with this illness. without God i know that i would never be able to make it. thank you Lord, for saving my soul.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSyqFWaGKVI