i realize that i may not be the best at writing, but my purpose is not to win a writing contest. But, instead be a beacon of hope, share a testimony that may inspire, take you on a journey that quite possibly will allow you to see that God can take a person such as me and work a miracle and give me the courage to fight this illness, and with His strength take one day at a time and be victorious. you know Jesus loves you, He gave Himself to die on a cross so that you could have eternal life. Jesus' death on the cross was a gift of love and beginning a personal relationship with Him would be the greatest decision you could make for your life. when you receive Jesus Christ He covers you with grace and forgives you from all of your sins and walks beside you and carries you when you need His strength when yours is gone. without Jesus in my life i could not go on. if you do not know Him, receive Him today, and believe me your life will never be the same.
here is "part" 3 a journey~
here is "part" 3 a journey~
as i continued this journey i began to appreciate how the medication was making such a difference in my life, i could see the results, and i didn't sit and stare, but i became more of the person that i am, the true, spontaneous kim, sports loving, music loving, art loving, and many of the other interests and hobbies in my life came back. this encouraged me. although further down the road on this journey i began a horrible roller coaster of slowly becoming a hypochondriac. i began to look for things that could be physically wrong with me. my doctor could tell me that nothing was wrong, and believing her and trusting her would last for a small period of time, and then doubt would set in and i would begin to worry once again, always looking, always thinking that i had this disease or that disease. i had numerous tests run ordered by the doctor, pretty much to pacify me. because of becoming a hypochondriac i began to slide down that slippery slope and fell or should i say took a dive straight down into my abyss. at the time my family doctor recommended that i go to a particular psychiatrist who would be able to tweak my medicine and hopefully bring me out of my abyss, but, instead of him helping, he made it worse, he gave me too much medicine for my highs and not enough for my lows, so i dove deeper into my abyss, stopped eating and started a routine of going no where, spending all my time mostly sleeping on my couch and when i wasn't sleeping, i was worried about my health, and in bondage, satan had a foothold on me, had me in the palm of his hand and i bought into his lies believing that i would never return to "normal" life as i knew it and would become forever just keeping my head above the waters of my deep dark pit called my abyss. scott knew that something had to be done and so he "fired" this doctor. but, at the time the damage had been done, i was caught in the snares of deep, deep depression. i remember crying out to God, at night still glued to that couch, and earnestly trying so desperately to sleep, of course getting none, i placed a paper next to my head of the different names of God, and each time satan would speak the voice of lies to me i would cry out the different names of God. Such as Emmanuel~ God is with us, Jehovah, bright and morning star, but because, i had fallen so deep, so low, satan had a foothold on me, and responding in my flesh, i listened to Him and blocked out the voice of TRUTH. things became worse, since i could not eat, i was skin and bones, i was literally slowly dying. tomorrow i will begin "part" 4 a journey and will continue to share with you the horrific roller coaster that i was continuing to ride and felt that i had reached the point of no return.
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