"part 8"a journey

when we left breakfast, we were told that if we needed toiletries, like a tooth brush, comb, soap, shampoo, we were supposed to go to a nurse and ask for it. i needed this stuff because i had just gotten there, and we weren't allowed to bring in anything from outside of the unit. so, i picked up my toothbrush, etc. and went to my room and took a shower and cleaned up,i then was required to keep these things in a locker assigned to me and each time i needed them i had to ask for a nurse to open my locker with a key. one thing they would not let you do is sleep all day. they kept you attending sessions. one thing that i found interesting is that i would go to the sessions and in each session the name of God or Jesus would be brought up, and i was able to share my faith. i knew God was working that out. it was truly amazing. by the time lunch rolled around, i was hungry and felt like eating, but, something more important happened. i found an empty chair at the table where all of the other people were sitting, and i asked to sit there. i then sat down, and started talking to different people all around me and heard about their stories, and got to know different personalities. there were times when i still felt uncomfortable, but God gave me the courage to keep pushing through. after lunch we then had to attend different sessions, getting tips on how to cope with our mental illness. this went on until dinner, and then we had a curfew to be in bed by 9:00 p.m. when we got in bed the night nurses that were assigned to us came by and gave us our medicine. my medicine calmed me down but i still couldn't sleep and i began to cry, thinking i don't know how much longer i can take of not sleeping. the next day we went through the same routine. each person that came to visit me needed my personal password. the password i came up with was "freedom 10"i don't know if subconsciously i was hoping to break out of the place or what, but, that's what i came up with. anyway right before lunch if you didn't have a psychiatrist assigned to you, they assigned you to one. Mine turned out to be Dr. Balster. i had different nurses coming to me and telling me, he is awesome, he's the head psychiatrist at kettering medical center. so, i felt assured i was in good hands. he met with me and we went over the medications that i was on. he changed things around, and after taking them for a couple of days i began to feel much better. but, i still wasn't sleeping. he tried several things and explained to me that he could not release me until i had slept through the night. finally the fifth day of being there, he gave me medication that helped me sleep through the night. the next day i ate breakfast, sat with some friends, went to sessions, even exercised, went to lunch and ate, and after lunch a social worker met with me. i told her of course of the horrible doctor that i had before and was in need of a new psychiatrist. i mentioned the possibility of getting Dr. Balster, she told me he wasn't taking any new patients and my heart sank, but then she said, let me make some phone calls and i will see what i can do. later that day she met with me again and said that Dr. Balster remembered meeting with me and said that he would take on my case. i said, "what, you're kidding me right?" i couldn't believe it at first. here was a dr. who had taken me from where i was and with the right medications had made me a totally different person, and of course i know that God had everything to do with all of this. each thing that happen, each word that was said.....all of it. i told the social worker that i would LOVE to have Dr. Balster as my doctor, and i have been his patient ever since. when i left that room i felt so overcome with joy, tears ran down my face. when i got back to my room, there was a young girl at my door, she was the patient that cried herself to sleep every night, one door down. she had a book in her hand. she then said to me, kim would you come to my room and read scripture verses with me? so, we went to her room and i was able to share the message of how Jesus shed His blood on the cross for the sins of all human kind and could come into her life and help her to begin a journey of healing, just by praying a prayer and receiving Him into her heart and life. she prayed that prayer and then i hugged her. she then said, "kim, i am sure going to miss you." we both got up together and went to dinner, after dinner i packed up all of my things (which wasn't very much at all) and waited in the lobby area and listened to different people talk about their situation and how they wanted to leave. i knew scott was coming to get me soon. when i was ready to finally walk out that door, each nurse on duty and every woman that could walk and get out of their room came and hugged me and said, "kim we are sure gonna miss you." how awesome that through all of that, God had a plan. i will never know here on earth what seeds may have been planted. when i left that place it was in December, and the air was crisp, and i could smell fire burning in peoples fire places, the smell was so lovely. i got into the van and as we drove away, i prayed for those precious people that God would show them the way. i prayed that God would give me the strength to make it. and thanked Him for His love and the beautiful family that He had given to me and blessed me with. there was still a long road ahead of going to a therapist, remaining strong, thinking positively, but i knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had pulled me up out of my deep dark abyss, one that i thought i'd never get out of and set me on solid ground. each day is a gift from God a brand new day. i have learned to take one day at a time, for that's all i have been given.

Pull Me Out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPmfETLCeek