"part 5" a journey/i need to take a break

things had to happen before i reached the new horizon. one morning (i do not remember the day) i could not stop shaking. i shook from head to toe, much like a tremor, my hands were especially shaking. i went upstairs to our room and got in bed with scott, and whispered in his ear, "i can't stop shaking, i think i am dying." he got up and said, "it's time" i knew he meant it was time to go to the emergency room. after 7 months of going through this i finally agreed to go to the hospital. i knew i had reached my wits end. i was literally experiencing a nervous break down. scott told sarah what we were doing and honestly she seemed relieved, concerned but, relieved. while in the emergency room they gave me a shot of ativan in my iv, and this calmed me down and stopped me from shaking, they then ran other tests, and asked me many questions. to make a long story short, i was then transferred to the behavioral unit of kettering medical center. which in actuality was a place where they brought  people with mental illnesses. they assigned me to a room. i noticed that the windows were nailed shut, the curtains had no strings, there was a paper sack instead of a garbage pale, nothing sharp was in the room, and absolutely nothing was in the room that could be used to harm myself or anyone else.

now, to be honest. i need to take a break from this post. writing about this has been therapeutic but at the same time has been somewhat difficult. my purpose however in writing it, is not to relive the past, but, to help others if i can. but, right now....i need to take a break. i may come back later today and write more. we will see.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7elxC8LXfzE