"part 6" a journey

It was crazy how i could be at peace one minute and then be in a state of anxiousness, and panic the next. i knew God was with me but, i felt so afraid and empty. how did i come to a place where i really and truly did hit rock bottom? it was such a slow fade for me, but none the less there i was sitting on a hospital bed in the behavioral unit, rather mental ward of Kettering Medical Center. all the years of singing, performing in front of crowds, doing what i love best, raising the girls to love God, seemed to me at that time to be just a distant memory. no family around and at that time for a few moments i felt like it was just me, and then agnus came into the room, and the spirit changed. she sat down next to me on my bed, and said, are you hungry and for the first time in so long, i truly was, she gave me choices and of course i chose chicken, a salad, vegetables, and some jello, and of course diet coke. she had my food brought to my room, and to my surprise i ate it all. within those walls, behind that heavy looked door in a room with windows that were nailed shut i felt a peace come over me. and it lasted into the evening and through the night, although i still was not sleeping, i could still see a tiny glimmer of hope a faded light at the end of this long tunnel, many times i often felt like i was looking through a tunnel and living in a bubble in which no one could hear my cries for help. yet, deep in my heart i knew as i layed there in bed that night, crying that God could hear me and it had been so long since i could feel His presence and a warmth came over me through the night, a comfort that i had not had for months, i knew God's presence was in the room as I laid on that hospital bed where just 3 doors down i could hear the curdling screams of a patient, and in the room right next to mine, deep sobbing cries of another patient, and yet the presence of God filled my room and i felt safe and held and covered with His arms.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXAAiSoBweU